Like so many divorce lawyers, I have been asked these questions countless times, both by clients, friends, acquaintances, and sometimes, even fellow lawyers. Usually, the questions are asked with a sense of puzzlement as to why someone would voluntarily choose divorce law.
These questions, and their many variations, never fail to elicit a wry, knowing smile from me, as I managed to become a divorce lawyer by pure chance. In law school, I concentrated in criminal law classes and clinics and found this area of law very interesting and challenging. After law school, I was lucky enough to obtain a judicial clerkship with Judge Vincent LeBlon in Middlesex County, who, at the time, was assigned to the Criminal Part. Shortly before my clerkship began, I learned that Judge LeBlon was to be rotated to the Family Part; hence, I too was being rotated to the Family Part. My initial reaction was not entirely a happy one because, after all, how does one do that kind of nasty, distasteful work?
Initially, I found the work of a Family Law Clerk to be emotionally taxing. As time went on, it became less so and eventually, I gained a deep appreciation of how the Court struggled to bring calm and order to sometimes chaotic family situations. I got to know many members of the family law bar, most from Middlesex County, and developed a great deal of respect for many of them.
Divorce lawyering, at its best, involves helping people resolve seemingly intractable issues in a fair and even handed manner so that they can move on with their lives. It entails reminding clients that not every issue is worth fighting over, and that sometimes, in the world of divorce law, the cost of victory can be higher than the cost of defeat. I have had to gently tell many clients that the goal of a divorce is not obtaining justice or vindication from the Court, but about ending a marriage with the least amount of emotional and financial damage.